The Return To Wholeness

There's much talk in this culture about healing. About what we need to do to become whole. About how that which has happened to us is problematic and we are somehow problematic because of this.

I suggest something different. I suggest that the experience of life has its highs and lows, it's light and it's dark, it's joy and it's tragedy and to prioritize any of these over the other is to set us up for an unreasonable expectation which can then lead to resentment. Life is a fluctuation of energy and must be in ultimate balance. To chance imbalance in our experience creates an imbalance in ourselves.

I prefer to return to wholeness.  I know that Unity with all is my essential nature, that it's at the core of my being, it  is the fundamental awareness that is aware of all things in the center of my being and throughout all of reality is this awareness.  When I sit in this awareness I unite with everything and I feel whole. When ‘bad’ things happen I separate from this awareness and can fixate on my own private sufferings and I feel disconnected.

The healing journey is the return to wholeness, of reclaiming lost parts of ourselves, aspects of our identity, hidden talents, parts of us hidden in trauma; these are all things that are a part of our own wholeness and if we wish to be one with everything we must first be one with ourself and if we can't do that then we must strive to be one with everything and the part of us holding back is the part of us that needs nurturing and perhaps a dose of oneness will be that healing.

The return to wholeness is recognizing that separation is part of the Human Experience: separating from parts of ourselves and our experience, separating from others, separating from our own good, separating from our past, separating from our truth and that the return to these things is the return to our own true wholeness.

Sometimes in the journey out, when we come back we actually find a greater wholeness than what we left with because in the journey out and back we often have experiences with others that lead us to see ourselves in new ways or uncover new aspects of Our Own beingness. 

This happened to me recently. I had a 6-month foray into relating with someone very special and very powerful.  In a way I lost parts of myself in the dream that was our temporary Unity.  In coming out of this beautiful dream there is the shock of seeing reality again as it is without them but there is also the awe of seeing myself in a new way, of seeing my life in a new way.  There are threads that I've lost, important projects and activities that I had let collect dust; that I now feel a new vigor as well as a new serenity to engage.  I see whole parts of myself in a new way having had those parts seen by the Beloved.  I have a newfound sense of purpose and drive to further explore myself having had this time away and then the return to my own wholeness I find that I am greater than when I left.

The return to wholeness is an invitation not to view ourselves as a wounding and healing but to view ourselves as uniting. We are uniting with ourselves and uniting with the all and that this is a never-ending process! Healing doesn't stop just because we stop being hurt, and we will never stop being hurt by life until we die! Instead of calling it healing and hurt we can call it uniting and separating and there is both good and bad in both and they aren't really good and bad they are parts of the path and all the path is good because it is that which we walk and the destination is unity and it is right here right now for us. We have always been right here. Parts of us uniting, parts of us separating in the infinite dance of experience. 

So my friends I invite you to return to wholeness and take that next step.

In the Beginning

Why. . .why do this. . .why another blog to add to the endless bloat of content flooding our thoughtscape. Why are you, the reader, even reading this. . .instead of all the others?

Were you referred here? Was it linked somewhere? What are you seeking in this? How can I, the writer, know any of this, I cannot, for I have written this before you read it.

So I must release all these worries and do what has been asked of me by so many: authentically share my insights, stories, reflections and medicine making that all occur to me naturally as I go through this journey called life.

I will begin where I am, the past and how I got here will present as we go along. . .

Today I sit in awe of the journey and all that has transpired thus far. What is most present for me as I write this is the good that calls me forward and just how much stronger it is than the bad I see behind me. Love lost, trauma healed, destiny revealed; on and on it goes yet I sense that there is so much more good than bad; if I choose to be strong and see it. To lift myself above my own small worries and personal pains; I see so much light even though I see dark in so many eyes.

These huddled masses I move through yearning for freedom. A freedom that is already within them yet they have been taught to turn away from it. A freedom that is their birthright as sentient life; as an expression of the One in its many forms. You are stardust harvesting star light in a cosmic dance that stretches from eternity to infinity. Yet so many minds have been imprisoned, so many hearts shuttered, so many souls dimmed till they are but a faint glow heard at the tail end of a laugh. . .

My people, the NeuroDivergent, see beyond this each in our own ways. I am not even sure I believe in the idea of ‘NeuroTypical’, I think it is all shades of the rainbow and each one a unique mosaic. . .but masking is the normativity of modernity and we have not freed ourselves fully from its limitations.

Some say I am disabled, others ‘differently abled’, others say I am brilliant or mad, visoiary or dillusional. Perhaps all are true in some way, in some time, in some cases. Yet I reject them all. I am me. Who are you? Does the world welcome you as you are and encourage you to explore your gifts, cultivate your talents and express yourself? I say do so now!

That is what this blog is about. Radical authenticity and deep medecine making. That my vulnerable shares without care or concern will shine bright and remind you of your own inner light; that you might shine bright too!

Enough for now, sleep calls to me and I need rest. . .for this has been a test of my willingness. . .I will do as I have been asked. . .and be of service to you all. Till next time, choose the good.